my life at this moment

I have always wanted to be older, to reach an age where I could do all the sorts of things I wanted without criticism or anybody stopping me. I wanted to be an age, where I was invisible, where at any moment I leave everything behind and begin again. The only difficult part were the numerous restrictions, each pulling at a different tender part, not allowing me to escape. University threw me into an uncomfortable realm of a reality I've never been to exposed to, and at the beginning it was hard to adjust to; it took about half a year to a complete year. And in this time period I have been able to wipe off those restrictions that previously held me back. Now I truly believe I have reached this perfect age, this perfect mix of naïveté and minimal wisdom to fulfill this longing. It seems you need to fully lose yourself to complete anything to the level you desire. As a child my favourite game was Hind and Seek, I was exceptional at hiding when I wanted to, and even better and finding people. Isn't it funny that those who lose themselves don't generally want to be found, you want to stay lost in it forever; because, that is where the answers are and the mysteries that keep life enchanted. In art I let my mind roam and rest my eyes at everything I see, until someone catches my attention at this point I run with it, as far as I can, when I get fed up, I dream of it, and see how my ideas unfold. Then I sketch what I saw, and the art unfolds. Nothing I have drawn, or painted has ever gone to completion, time has always been a restrictive factor. But when a life time is your restriction, you really have everything.